From Selfish to Serving

This morning I read Genesis 40. I noticed that there is a lot of symbolism of Jesus with the cupbearer representing the wine and the chief baker, the bread. I wanted to completely avoid looking into this as I can sometimes spend tremendous amounts of time wanted to find insights into the Word of God but not connect with God and how He wants to use the Word to change my life that specific day. Therefore, I looked more intently at Joseph’s character. Joseph exhibits many messianic characteristics throughout his life. Specifically here, he shows the heart of servitude. Verse 4 shows that the guard, of the prison they were now in, put Joseph in charge of these men. Joseph was consequently their superior. With superiority comes the temptation to be extremely prideful. Joseph doesn’t take the bait but instead takes care of these men. Joseph displays a great sense of humility.

I am by far nowhere close to being humble. I don’t say this in a proud and boastful manner. I say this with regret-filled knowledge. This is showcased in the void that is my ability to serve others. I am able to be there for people when the need is clear but otherwise I am wrapped up in the world of me. I noticed this very starkly this weekend. Friday Campus devotional I realised I hadn’t looked after a visiting sister in the church with love and care. She had arrived and I had made no conscious effort to build a friendship with her. This weekend I also realised a close friend of mine was struggling in her faith and I hadn’t been there for her. Previously when she was in a bad spiritual shape, I would break down walls to help her. However, now it had been months and I was just beginning to play any role in her life. Last but not least, I had utterly abandoned spending time with an older woman in the church, that I had once spent every weekend with. My heart towards my family had gotten hard so I knew my heart to God was surely in an analogous state.

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen,cannot love God, whom they have not seen

1 John 4:20

When considering the reasons I didn’t have a heart of a servant I came to two dubitable consequences. The first came from a juvianial source and is quite embarrassing to admit. When finding out what my love language is, I was shocked (yet simultaneously not) that Acts of Service fell at a zero as my idea of how I would like affection shown to me. Why? Because I’m independent and don’t think I need other people’s help. I think I can cope very well on my own and only ask for it when I am at my last straw. See.. prideful! As it goes, through whatever medium translates love to you is the same method to which you show love to others. Therefore, as I love Words of Affirmation, I would show someone how much I love them by how thoughtfully I describe them. As Acts of Service wasn’t even on my list, I don’t show it as a form of love towards others.

The Independent Woman

I saw a big character issue here: independence. As much as I pray and read the Word, I see there is still an issue of independence in my relationship with God. It is as if I walk with Him in the morning, when I need Him and in the eve before I fall asleep. I don’t walk with Him. I run in front of Him and walk backwards when I feel it’s necessary. Independence was how I was raised. By the time I was about eight my mum expected me to come to her for absolutely nothing but signing school letters. I never walked beside my parents. Matthew 18:3-4 teaches me that I have to transform the way I think. The scripture uses the word change showing it requires some transformation to become child-like. The Greek word for this is strephō which means to change one’s mindset. Therefore, it is as simple as me making a decision to be childlike in my relationship. As a child would go to their parents for small things such as what to eat, I should humble myself and enquire of God even in small areas such as these. I need to walk side-by-side with God, totally being myself with Him and looking to Him as my source of protection and sustenance. A practical way to emulate a child and father relationship with God is to look at real life examples. Look at children you know and see how they relate with their parents. Note these characteristics down and beginning putting them into practise with God.

Sit Down, Be Humble
Joseph had to be humbled by being sold into slavery. In the previous chapter he is seen to be prideful and boastful, conjuring feelings of hatred towards him by his brothers. The period of slavery helped him reassess himself and view himself with sober judgement.There lies the second reasoning to why I don’t possess the qualities of a servant - I lack humility. I look to situations that are seemingly ‘below’ me and avoid them because of my false sense of superiority.

The dream Joseph had wasn’t any less real, he was going to be raised up but after he humbled himself. He was still in every way a favoured man of God, however God’s intention was never for it to be hung over other’s head but controlled and used to glorify God. In the same way, all the skills I have been gifted by God are not any less useful or powerful. But they shouldn’t be used as a way to fuel my security or ego, rather contained and utilised only for the glory of God. Jesus in John 13 displays the perfect example of the praus spirit. He was in every way like God the Father (Philippians 2:6) but yielded His privilege and assumed the role of a slave. He was capable of doing so because He didn’t take security in the gifts He had but took security in who He was in God. Taking the position of a slave was water of a duck's back, because He was confident that nothing could take that away from Him. Often times we can assume being humble is a place of weakness, but it takes a lot more strength to yield your power and not take security from it.  

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.

James 4:10