A Holy Fear

UIKeyInputDownArrowAs a result of an abusive past, I have an irrational concept of fear. In situations where I should be overcome with fear, I feel nothing. There were many a time, where I was up against a guy that was twice my size and clearly more skilled than myself, and I would feel no fear as I advanced to fight him. Everything in the situation dictated I should get out of there, but my loudest thought is “I’m not going to be afraid of you” and that fear of being afraid again drowned out everything. I was so terrified to be afraid because I didn’t want to feel the shame that married inferiority. I felt that feeling continually in my relationship with my mum and that shame motivated me to never let anyone or anything make me feel that way. I’d let my mum get that over on me, no one else.

Consequently, I lack a healthy fear of God. Any time I am faced with a situation where I know I should take the right rather than the left, I stand proudly saying ‘I’m not going to let that fear bridle me’. However, the fear I feel in that moment isn’t the fear God intended for me to extend to Him in our relationship. That fear is riddled with negative implications. Fear of God not loving me or taking away blessings from me or a car hitting me when I cross the road. 1 John 4:18 emphasises that this fear isn’t the fear God speaks of when He commands us to fear Him. The Greek word here is phobos which means to be fear stricken and terrorized, which certainly isn’t the impression we should make of God   

Biblical Fear

Fear of God is a combination of reverence and actual fear. Yare is the often used Hebrew word used when describing how to fear God. Actually fear HIm by understanding that He is the God of all the universe. He is the God that gives us breathe in our lungs and has the capacity to take it away (read any Old or New Testament where someone double crosses God, you’ll see..). As aforementioned, this fear shouldn’t intertwine with a constant fear of repercussion, but a healthy sense of respect for His authority and power. When you were a child you knew there were areas that you shouldn’t test your parents because you understood discipline was on the horizon. They may not have always chastised you but your understanding of their authority helped you stay in line. This is the same with our Heavenly Father

Fear can also come out of an awesome confusion. Consider to yourself, why would such a Great Being with no sin and no ulterior motive want a relationship with me?.. This thought sets you in motion and makes you want to know Him and serve Him more, as a result of this indescribable, amorphous love.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,

    and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Proverbs 9:10

Psalm 112:1 expresses “Praise the LORD! How joyful are those who fear the LORD and delight in obeying his commands.”. It’s disarming to think that fear can produce joy...but that’s because we have been fearing the wrong things. That joy is borne of the knowledge that God, who is greater than all things in the universe, is greater than our banal fears. With that comes a peace of mind as we are assured that He is able to overcome them.